Off with the old, on with the really old

(...and enduring and meaningful and satisfying and lick-your-chops GOOD.)


After 42 years of life on this planet...

I'm tired of being tricked by the "seen" that it's more important than the unseen.

I'm tired of working hard for something but not sure if it's going to matter in the long run, and piddling away my precious time on "wood, hay, and stubble."

I'm tired of rushing around from activity to activity with the kids, but feeling an exhaustion and emptiness that doesn't feel worth the effort for the activity alone.

I'm tired of setting my hope in my own efforts to stay in control of housework and email and the family schedule, and chasing the pipe dream that things will ever be or stay perfectly the way I prefer (or that that's even the best way anyway).

I'm tired of the deceitfulness of the same old sins and of riches and of power and of image and of "having it all together"...and how I keep going back to them even though time and time again they let me down.

I'm tired of putting my identity in things that can so easily be taken away, in people who can't bear the weight of my need, in activities that are simply drops of the ocean that I am...so confining, so flat to reduce this being God created to the sum of my calendar or to-do list (and grossly un-checked-off at that).

I'm tired of a world of elusive outer beauty and image, where I still have to do "one more thing" to attain and maintain what is quickly slipping away anyway.

I'm tired of chasing my own ideas and agenda and making needless mistakes and getting myself into pickles...when a simple angling of my eyes Upward, the slightest relaxing of my grip, the shortest pause, one word to the Source...THE. SOURCE. of the only good ideas and of order and time and coordination and purpose and destiny and The Plan of the Universe...would have saved me another trip to the woodshed.

I'm tired of refusing to grow up in certain areas, like being late all the time (ugh).

I'm tired of wondering if I'm really loved and lovable.

I'm tired of my ruts of wasted time (and the guilt that goes with it) pursuing anything less than what's going to last forever.

I've had my fill of my own ways and my own detours, and I'm ready to go back and "read the directions."

I WANT MORE.

Been there, done that. And I'm really listening now, Lord. You've patiently led me back to Your side time and time and time again. You've gently (and not so gently) broken the leg of this wandering sheep. I'm ready to sit at Your feet, as Mary did, instead of being "distracted with much serving" as Martha was. And receive that One Thing that is most important and will not be taken away.

I see now...I finally see (since You opened my eyes) that Your way is the best way and the only way. And that it's to my advantage to listen for Your voice, the heed Your words to me.

I am hungry for Your Word.

And suddenly (or gradually...how did this happen??) it is sweeter than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.

I am seeing wondrous things in Thy law.

Wisdom does thrill and satisfy my heart better than gold and silver and jewels.

You are counseling me with Your eye upon me.

Your way does appear perfect and appealing and adventurous and restful and ahhhh, like home. Like what I've been searching for, what I was made for, Who I am longing for.

So speak, Lord, Thy servant heareth. "To whom shall we go? You alone have the words of life"!

Rest

Satan says, You'll get so much accomplished if you don't rest.

God says, Your biggest accomplishment is to rest in Me.

Expectations

If I really believe and agree with God, then I should not be surprised by my sin.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

Satan says, it's not so bad.

The flesh says, just try harder.

The world says, sin is not in the urban dictionary.

But God says, "The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

And "repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." Matthew 3:2

Also, we're supposed to have bad stuff happening to us...

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you." I Peter 4:12

"...In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

If I am consumed by a passion for God's glory--His fame, His pleasure, His honor--I will welcome these humblings as opportunities.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves..." II Corinthians 4:7

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is being perfected [is completed and shows itself most effectively] in your weakness.'" II Corinthians 12:9

Wow...........

Power

It's not that I'm praying that's so important, it's that God is listening.

"The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry." Psalm 34:15

God, the Source of ALL power, ALL authority, ALL creativity, ALL beauty, ALL love, ALL justice, ALL virtue and righteous judgment, ALL goodness and everything our hearts desire...

Selah.

...desires to partner with His children to do His work in the world.

...and has thus commanded us to pray. Commanded us (because we are unwilling? distracted? unbelieving? busy? fearful?) to come boldly before His throne of grace for help in time of need, to ask for things in Jesus' name, to give us our daily bread and make His will be done on earth as readily and cheerfully and worshipfully as it is in heaven, to intercede for kings, nations, and our brothers. To pour out our hearts before Him, our refuge.

It's not that God is unwilling, unable, or too busy to act unless I pray. It's that I am readied for His work through prayer. So often I have to make my kids "ask nicely" before I can give them what they want. "For the Lord waits expectantly and longs to be gracious to you; and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you, for the Lord is a God of justice..." Isaiah 30:18.

"Our God is in the heavens, He does whatever He pleases." He doesn't need our prayers in order to act. But He invites us--He actually sent us a formal invitation in the Person of His Son and the indwelling of His Spirit--to be "fellow workers" (I Corinthians 3:9) with Him in His redemptive work in the world, the calling of all things back to their Creator, the making of all things new. A formal invitation to the party He has every day in His Own character, in being Who He is, and in all the transforming power that radiates out of this Trinitarian synergy.

And I'm too tired to get out of bed in the morning to fall on my knees?

Give, receive, love!

God loves to give. "For God so loved...that He gave..." John 3:16

And God loves to receive. Namely, glory, thanks, and praise. "Shout for joy to God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name, give to Him glorious praise." Psalm 66:1-2

So He gives to us. And gives and gives and gives to us, all things. "What do you have that you did not receive?" I Corinthians 4:7

So that we have something to give back to Him. "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice...which is your...worship." Romans 12:1 "Through Him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge His name." Hebrews 13:15

Meanwhile, we humans love to receive. "Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." John 16:24

And we love to give. "'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" Acts 20:35

This is the beautiful cycle of love that He made possible in Christ Jesus!

(And even this insight, this glimpse, is itself a gift from Him, and I offer it back to Him and to you, and praise Him for it! Ha, what joy!)

Broken cisterns

My kids are God's Textbook on Life for me, filled with lessons and analogies. And I've heard other parents say the same. God is constantly prying my eyes open through them and saying, "See, that's you. That's how you're treating Me when you're bent on your own way. That's how I feel when you're ungrateful for My many blessings...for even giving you life. See, that's how my heart sings when you obey Me cheerfully."

My Textbook is chock full, but I want to try to capture more of these valuable lessons on "paper" (so I don't have to relearn them...again!). And because they are truly beautiful and precious to me.

Just now I was disciplining Cora for wrecking Annelise's block structure. Cora was fighting me and passionate about returning to the table because Annelise was going to take all her blocks. I told her, "Who can take care of that? Can Mommy make Annelise give you back the blocks you need?" Whimpery "yes."

Cora's goals were wrong, or rather, out of order. It was not wrong for her to be worried about her blocks, of course. But her primary goal should have been to make things right with Mommy and Annelise, and to make sure her heart was right with God.

But instead she was focused on justice for herself.

So, she could disobey Mommy, and run back to the table to wrest some kind of skewed justice for herself...which incidentally would result in further discord and injustice, with either Cora not actually getting all the blocks she needed to play with or Annelise having too many of hers grabbed away.

Or she could obey Mommy, make things right with Mommy, and then let Mommy go back with her to the table and exact true justice. (Well, or a close approximation in human terms. ; )) And actually, I would be far more motivated to take up her cause and fight for her, the more obedient and submissive she was to me, and the more she looked to me to do so.

God has been drawing me to Himself this year, as I emerge from the "baby cave." Motivating me to spend time with Him. Showing me the importance of obedience and making Him my first priority. "Martha, Martha, thou are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful, and Mary has chosen the better part."

If I'm running around, busy with what I think is important, trying to effect justice or righteousness in this world, apart from Him, nay in disobedience to Him if He's told me to seek Him first, then it's only causing more problems and not solving anything. But if I "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, all these things [that I think are so important] will be added unto" me. Because GOD is the Source of everything I think is important. Justice, rightness, goodness, health, help for people, truth, money and provision, even (and esp) the building up of the Body of Christ. He is the Source of beauty, rest, answers, peace, happiness, strength, and harmonious relationships.

Lord, help me to seek You first! And then direct and go with me as I get my orders from You and leave the sanctum (or "war room") to follow them.

"...for My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." Jeremiah 2.13

How much more will your Father...?!

He gives us gifts that He knows are going to compete with His place in our hearts. But He just can't help Himself...He's that generous of a Father, Who loves to lavish good gifts on His beloved children. What kind of a God is this?!

[Matthew 7.11]