It hit me this morning. Finally.
I'd had a horrible morning yesterday. One bad thing let to another, that seemed out of my control. I couldn't get up in the morning because I have fatigue. So I was late leaving for work. So I got stuck on construction traffic on Rock Creek Parkway. So I had to make up time when I finally broke free 45 minutes later. So I had to yell at the slow driver in front of me on Spout Run, and race around him when we finally got two lanes. So I got a ticket. So I melted into hot tears and blamed God the rest of the way to work. And all morning. I'm such a victim!
It was annoying that I instantly realized that slow car was "mercy"...God's direct intervention to KEEP me from getting a ticket, because He knew the cop was around the corner, sitting in her mustang cop car. But that just rubbed salt in my wound.
I felt like life was caving in, and I just couldn't handle being sick with fatigue anymore, and God was rubbing it in my face.
As the day went on, I mellowed of course. And by evening at Bible study, we were on speaking terms. But it finally hit me this morning...the lesson He was (lovingly) trying to teach me.
DownHere has a song called "Don't Be So," and it was written for me. Stevo put the intro on my phone as the text alert, so it's been stuck in my head for the last 24 hours. One line struck me this morning as I made breakfast. "...Cuz it's not we, and it's not you who's going to save the day." Oops, I was trying to save the day again.
You know how at work when a coworker takes over part of your job description and totally disregards that that task belongs to you, you know how you feel? Threatened, angry, disrespected, not to mention convinced it will fail in their hands. Well, God must feel the same way when I try to save myself. When I take on my problems (that He allowed) as my own. It's just so obvious now, that all morning I was looking to myself to get me to work on time and save the day for everyone, never pausing to look up and ask for help.
Thanks Lord (through gritted teeth and reluctant heart) for saving me from false-savior Nellie.
2 comments:
I would suggest you delete your comment "a diplomat of course" your intention may not mean to be discrimatory but it sound highly awfully offensive.
Just wanted you to know that you continue to inspire an old friend to greater freedom. Keep speaking from your heart...the echo in my own has the Holy Spirit's finger prints.
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